Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Weather Men are Wasting Our Oxygen
Dork (above)
Weather men often remind me of mosquitoes. Why do they exist? What purpose do they serve other than as an annoyance? Weather men usually exhibit thirteen (or more) of the following unenviable characteristics:
  1. self-centered
  2. self-indulgent
  3. pompous
  4. filled with delusions of grandeur
  5. consumed by the thought that their existence actually has relevance
  6. consumed by the thought that their existence has purpose
  7. incorrect 90% of the time
  8. arrogant
  9. delusional
  10. dumb
  11. people who get way too much air time
  12. dorky
  13. egocentric
  14. over paid

Being a weather man is a lot like having a penis that you can not use because it's always limp. Take the champ in the picture for example. Rick the Limp Dick Weather Man Mecklenburg. Rick made the following statement: "Not a lot of snow in the near future. There's gonna be a lot of angry skiers out looking for me." Wow. Take a moment to let that one settle. Who does this guy think he is? ATTENTION RICK: YOU DO NOT DETERMINE THE WEATHER. YOU ARE NOT GOD. This guy thinks that people will be angry with him because of the weather. He thinks that people think he can manipulate the weather! Why would people be mad at you, Rick? YOU ARE NOT THE MANUFACTURER OF WEATHER! Talk about delusions of grandeur.

And what's all this shit about "I'm a Meteorologist"? Ever notice how weather men always introduce themselves as "Meteorologist (fill in the name)"? You are a fucking weather man! Meteorologist is a bullshit title and everyone knows it. Besides, who the fuck introduces themselves with a job title before their name anyways? Usually arrogant pricks. But mostly just the President and Meteorologists. I guess the meteorologist is pompous enough to believe that he is on a similar level as the President of the United States. It just kills me how they use their bullshit title as if it serves as some form of prestige. Who are they kidding?

And on a final note, you'll notice that I didn't even bother to go into detail about the fact that weather men are always WRONG about the weather. I figured, why bother? This is common knowledge. But here is the thing I can't figure: How can someone know that society thinks of them as a joke and yet they still take their job and themselves seriously? I don't know, but it takes a weather man to do it.

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